The profound intersection of humanistic psychology and spiritual inquiry, particularly in later life, is a recurring theme in intellectual history. Leading figures who shaped our understanding of the human psyche often found themselves grappling with existential and transcendent questions, revealing a shared trajectory toward exploring the unknown dimensions of existence. Abraham Maslow, a pioneer of humanistic psychology, actively championed transpersonal psychology, aiming to integrate spiritual experiences into the scientific framework. Fritz Perls, the co-founder of Gestalt therapy, found resonance in Zen Buddhism, drawn to its contemplative practices and emphasis on present moment awareness. Roberto Assagioli, the architect of psychosynthesis, not only led meditation groups but was also a vocal proponent of Theosophy, a spiritual philosophy seeking to reconcile science, religion, and philosophy. Renowned therapist Carl Rogers articulated a worldview that embraced the "mysterious dimensions of other, barely comprehensible realities," existing alongside the empirically verifiable. Similarly, Ruth Cohn, an influential figure in the United States and co-founder of the Esalen Institute, openly documented her profound spiritual encounters in the natural world.
In this context, a recent dialogue between media scholar Bernhard Poerksen and esteemed humanistic psychologist Friedemann Schulz von Thun offers a compelling exploration of these enduring themes. Schulz von Thun, one of the most widely read and influential psychologists in the German-speaking world, has dedicated his career to the art of communication. His work, though articulated through psychological language, subtly reflects an implicit spirituality and a deep contemplation of impermanence—a core tenet in Buddhist philosophy that can be both a source of suffering and a pathway to its alleviation. Their collaborative book, Communication as an Art of Living: The Philosophy and Practice of Talking with Each Other, co-authored by Poerksen and Schulz von Thun, delves into the fundamental questions of human existence, the quest for meaning, truth, and happiness, all within the unavoidable shadow of mortality.
Confronting Mortality in the Digital Age
The current global media landscape, saturated with images of violence and loss, presents a unique challenge to our collective psyche. Bernhard Poerksen initiates the conversation by posing a pertinent question: "At the moment, we are constantly exposed to images of injured and dead people. Death is currently a regular guest on news programs around the world. How does this cumulative violence affect viewers who are actually not directly involved?"
Schulz von Thun outlines three primary psychological responses to this constant barrage of suffering. The first is a defense mechanism of indifference and ignorance, a testament to humanity’s innate ability to shield itself from overwhelming fear. The second involves various avoidance reflexes, designed to create psychological distance from horrific imagery. Finally, a third, more unsettling, reaction is a pervasive vague fear, a sense that the repercussions of global conflicts are encroaching and that zones of unrest are expanding unchecked.
Poerksen then probes further, questioning whether these graphic depictions of violence and torture could, paradoxically, serve to heighten our awareness of the finite nature of human life. He suggests that the meta-message of such horror might be a confrontation with the fragility of our own existence.
Schulz von Thun, however, expresses reservations about this direct causal link. While acknowledging that such images can indeed unsettle a primal sense of safety and security, he posits that the awareness of our finitude is a constant undercurrent in our everyday lives, independent of extreme external events. "Deep down inside and regardless of the current news situation," he states, "we know, of course, that we must die." This suggests that the media’s amplification of death, while impactful, taps into an existing, fundamental human consciousness of mortality.
Death as a Scandal or a Release?
Schulz von Thun’s life’s work has centered on the intricate dance of communication, predicated on the possibility of continued connection and dialogue. Poerksen frames death, from this perspective, as a "scandal that brutally destroys the chance of a new beginning in the sphere of communication."
Schulz von Thun offers a nuanced perspective, asserting that the perception of death is heavily influenced by one’s worldview and existential self-concept. For an individual with a narcissistic inclination, viewing themselves as the "pinnacle of creation," death can indeed be perceived as the "maximum insult." Conversely, for those who have endured significant suffering, death might be welcomed as a release, a guarantee that agony will not be eternal. In such circumstances, he suggests, death could be embraced as a "good friend," and medically assisted suicide as a "merciful prospect." Furthermore, if one views life as a link in a chain—connecting past and future generations—then making way for the next becomes a logical, even necessary, progression.
Despite these potential interpretations, Poerksen rightly points out that it remains natural to see death as an enemy. "All religious and philosophical attempts at consolation notwithstanding, death is a horrible fact," he observes. Schulz von Thun elaborates on this inherent aversion, quoting Arthur Schopenhauer, who described life’s construction as an "intolerable abomination." We are, Schopenhauer argued, seduced into loving life, only to receive our "death warrant" precisely when we have achieved a sense of self-acceptance and connection.
Finding Congruence in Life’s Expiry Date
The conversation then shifts to the possibility of cultivating a more positive attitude towards death, one that allows for a sense of fulfillment even with an "inbuilt expiry date." Schulz von Thun draws an analogy to sleep. He questions, "Isn’t sleep scandalous too? We are here on this planet for such a short time—and then we miss out on a third of this precious time by sleeping!" Yet, after an exhausting day, sleep is welcomed as a restorative process. He proposes that, analogously, a fulfilled and rich life might culminate in a "deep satiation and tiredness with life," making the prospect of "smoothly drifting off into death" feel congruent and right.
Poerksen counters that the certainty of waking up makes sleep inherently easier and more beautiful. Schulz von Thun agrees, conceding that "if you had the certainty that death, too, is only the beginning of a transformation toward something new, that there will be another awakening and a new day… it would be much easier to admit this feeling of delicious weariness." He candidly admits that neither he nor Poerksen possesses such certainty.
Navigating Existential Homelessness and the Mystery of Being
Poerksen views such beliefs as attempts to "console us for an existential meaninglessness and homelessness that we don’t want to look in the face." Schulz von Thun, however, finds this perspective incongruent with his lived experience. He argues that our very existence—the ability to converse, to breathe, to have shelter—demonstrates a fundamental "at-homeness" on Earth. He rejects the notion of "cruel meaninglessness and homelessness" as a primary descriptor of human existence.
The stark reality of mortality, that "at the end… all that remains is a bagful of dust," is acknowledged. However, Schulz von Thun emphasizes the importance of the journey before the end. He cautions against allowing the contemplation of death to "demonize" it and overshadow the entirety of life. He proposes that the choice of perspective is crucial: "Whether I allow myself to be impressed by this sensational and mysterious life or whether I am totally caught up in the fact of my own finiteness is a choice I make." He advocates for not giving excessive power to thoughts of the end, lest death become a "sword of Damocles" hanging over one’s life. Ultimately, he asserts, death is powerless against the lived experience: "Death is powerful and important, but there is, after all, one thing it cannot take away from us: having lived and possibly having lived this wonderful life to its fullest. On that score, death is a powerless fellow."
The Balance of Humility and Self-Determination
Poerksen notes the apparent contradiction between Schulz von Thun’s communication psychology, which champions negotiation and compromise, and the absolute, uncompromising nature of death. He expresses surprise that death does not provoke greater anger in him.
Schulz von Thun explains his less agitated stance by referencing the awareness of "being lived." He acknowledges that we are born and die without our consent, and that fate often intervenes in ways beyond our control. This understanding fosters a "certain humility toward fate." Simultaneously, he emphasizes the human imperative to "unfold our potentials and talents," becoming responsible agents and authors of our own life stories. The key, he posits, is to combine humility toward fate with self-determination. A sole focus on humility can lead to resigned fatalism, while an exclusive belief in self-determination can foster a dangerous sense of omnipotence and an overwhelming burden of responsibility.
The "Happiness-Inducing Hypothesis" and the Embrace of Mystery
The discussion touches upon Wilhelm Schmid’s "ratiocination solution" to the problem of death: the idea that imagining death as a transition can make life more bearable. Schmid suggests that since certainty is unattainable, embracing the "happiness-inducing hypothesis" of a life after death is a wise choice.
Schulz von Thun finds this approach "clever" but notes its limitations. For such a belief to be truly transformative, it must resonate with the deeper levels of the psyche, not remain a mere intellectual construct. He expresses his inability to adopt such a strategy, fearing it would be an act of self-deception.
When asked to describe his own position, Schulz von Thun admits to profound uncertainty. He leans towards the possibility of infinite nothingness after death, akin to the state before conception, but acknowledges the limitations of his "cognitive apparatus" in grasping the vastness of the universe. He finds the world, including his own life, to be a profound mystery. This sense of humility and awe in the face of this mystery, he contends, is more existentially congruent than clinging to unsubstantiated beliefs.
God as the Unknown Addressee of Gratitude
Poerksen observes that what Schulz von Thun terms "mystery," a mystic might interpret as "God"—a cipher for the "wholly Other" that transcends conceptual understanding. Schulz von Thun affirms this interpretation: "If this is your definition of God—as a cipher for the mystery of being—then I am sometimes close to God." He defines God as "the completely unknown addressee of my gratitude as a creature." He emphasizes the notion of being a "creature" because every aspect of his being—physical, genetic, and cognitive—was not self-created but rather "there."
This formulation of gratitude towards an unknown addressee carries a deeply spiritual, though not conventionally religious, meaning for Schulz von Thun. He finds the creation story as narrated by evolutionary biology, astronomy, and natural sciences far more awe-inspiring than biblical accounts. He marvels at the improbable journey of life on Earth, tracing ancestry back to primitive forms, and acknowledging the incredible tradition of survival artists across hundreds of millions of years. This scientific narrative, he finds, is "quite incredible and breathtaking."
Embracing the Spiritual as Figure
Returning to the observation that many humanistic psychologists engaged with spiritual questions in their later years, Schulz von Thun, with characteristic humility and a touch of ironic deflection, notes his relative youth. He acknowledges that he is "still stuck in an earthbound pragmatism" but is "gradually and somewhat timidly opening up to the spiritual questions." He even ventures that he possesses few "spiritual skills," yet senses a profound shift occurring within him: "figure and background change places."
Drawing on Gestalt psychology, he explains this analogy. In his daily life, the awareness of the "mystery of being" often recedes into the background, with everyday pragmatism dominating the foreground. However, increasingly, and sometimes spontaneously, this dynamic reverses. He experiences fleeting glimpses of the "amazing mystery of my being" during routine activities like climbing stairs. In these moments, the mundane act becomes an experience in itself, not merely a means to an end.
He elaborates on this profound shift: "It’s this sudden sense of being humbled and awed that here I am, climbing these stairs in an erect posture… my mind set on a goal, seeing and breathing and feeling a certain way. In this moment, the cosmic mega-sensation of which I am a final descendant steps out from the background of incidental matter-of-factness into the foreground of my awareness." This heightened awareness of life’s preciousness, he concludes, is amplified by the knowledge that such moments are finite.
The book Communication as an Art of Living: The Philosophy and Practice of Talking with Each Other by Bernhard Poerksen and Friedemann Schulz von Thun, published by Routledge on July 13, 2026, serves as a testament to these enduring explorations of life, death, and the profound mystery of human consciousness.
